Today...

Would have been my Grandmother's 73rd Birthday. She passed away 30th November 1999. Today is exactly 10 years from the last time I saw her. :( I find it a little hard to talk about, I don't know what to say really. So I'm just posting a pic of my finished Christmas Tree, and the Nativity Scene that was hers. When I was little, there were 2 doves in the top area...she used to move them from time to time and tell me they'd flown away! I believed her, every time! :) One of them since got lost, but one is still there! I might go to the cemetery later today...I've only been about 3 times. I just feel like...she's not there, you know? It's just ashes...she's in Heaven or someplace. I guess it's a ritual, a sign of respect? My other Grandma doesn't even have a grave, her ashes were just scattered in the place she met my Grandfather. See, I'm rambling now. Anyway, I miss them both. <3

Happy (late) Turkey Day, and Missy's Birthday!

Thanksgiving- we don't really celebrate it in Australia. But I like the concept of it! I made Pumpkin Pie on Wednesday (yummy!) but I was working yesterday so we didn't have a family dinner or anything.
Something I did do? Adopt a turkey! I heard about it from one of my friends on Facebook. No, it's not gonna live with me! I'm set with the birdness I already have. Anyway info is here: http://www.adoptaturkey.org/aat/adopt/sponsor.html It's an awesome vegetarian alternative Thanksgiving tradition!
Missy's Birthday- my baby girl is 2 today! I made a cake (see above) and now my hands are green and red from food colouring but I guess eventually it'll fade lol!

My tree is up!

I remember when I was a little kid, putting up the Christmas Tree was so much fun! A real family tradition. Dad and Mum would put the pieces together (we always had a fake one...I think just about everyone in Australia does!) and then Matt and I would take turns (alternate years) on choosing which decorations to put on the tree. We'd listen to Christmas Carols, usually singing along with the wrong words... then, I guess everyone grew up. I got my own tree when I was 14, just because I love Christmas Trees, but I still insist on putting up the family tree every single year. Even when nobody else has time, I make time and do it myself. It's kind of the centerpiece of the season, it's gotta be there!
I put mine up yesterday. I always like to do it early, even though that means it's all a little dusty by Christmas! I used my boxes of stuff as a base, and fabric and pinecone decorations for under the tree. I couldn't decide between the pink, red, and gold tinsel to I used all 3 twisted together. White lights- 50. I always think I should get more, but honestly putting 50 on is painful enough of an experience! It's probably the most frustrating part, in my opinion. I'm kind of over the flashing lights at the moment too. Then I finished with decorations. I don't really choose themes, I just put on most of what I have- each decoration has a memory attached- who gave it to me or made it, how old I was...stuff like that!
It's still a bit unfinished- the Angel I was going to use for the top, and my Grandma's nativity scene I was going to put underneath are still in our storage unit, so we'll have to get them back out! Anyway, I still love it and Missy and Belle are fascinated!
In other news, contracts were signed on our house yesterday, so unless the 5 days cooling off period changes something, we are definitely moving! I'm trying to focus on one thing at a time and not get too stressed or upset though. It's gonna be hard to leave! I've lived here since I was 9, most my memories are here!

Outside...

I'm an indoor girl. I don't like bugs, dirt, or being too hot or too cold. Our house is on the market now though, so every other day, we have to go outside and wait in the backyard several times. For me this means carrying Missy, Belle and Valentine's cages up and down the stairs several times a day- not easy! They're heavy as heck and Missy likes to peck my fingers while I'm precariously balancing her cage. Once we're out there, I find it extra hard to concentrate on any task (usually reading), and the birds freak out every time they see a bug. We all like looking at the pretty blue sky though. It's been soooo hot lately, definitely almost Summer!
I'm trying to be patient and tolerant with the process, but lets face it, I just don't like uncertainty! When plans change, strangers are in my house, it feels a bit chaotic.
I can't believe it's Bronx's first Birthday...still can't believe his name is Bronx, btw. Also can't believe tomorrow is the Australian Idol grand final! Well now I'm taking care of Opa on a Saturday night, trying to finish reading a book, and hopefully finding time to organize my diary...

It's Mid-November...

provided by: www.unclaimedmoney.net

Time to start thinking about Christmas!! For some reason I counted 39 days and this things says 38 days, so something went wrong, but anyway I thought it was cute!

Everything is so intense...

Always is with me, but more so than usual this week.

"The excrement made physical contact with a hydro-electric powered oscillating air current distribution device" LOL...or "the shit hit the fan."

Ever feel like you know you're being hostile, but you can't help it? And when someone is totally passive aggressive, the high road can be quite hard to take.

Ever know that your feelings aren't the most logical, but it doesn't matter because that's just how you feel?

I'm not even analysing. I just feel like I've been confronted with so many fears, incidents from my past, and then sadness and conflict.

People in pain, and people who don't understand don't mix well. It just gets more and more intense until it's like a blur of words thrown around carelessly.

Ok. I'm done rambling.

Untitled.

No words really. For a blog. I've been up much of the night. Thinking. Feeling horrible for Celine and Rene. I know it happens to 1 in 4 women, but losing a baby has to be one of the most awful things a woman can go through. I don't understand why God would create this little life inside its Mother, and then it never even gets the chance to be born. I'm not gonna over analyze it, but it makes me feel so sad. Especially when there are over a million abortions every year in America alone, among women who just didn't want to take responsibility for their own actions. Yet for someone who wants a baby so much to have to go through so much trying to have one? That's unfair. That sucks. Lets just pray her next attempt at IVF works.
I also had my driving test yesterday. I passed. But any joy at that was kind of overshadowed by sadness, so I haven't even told many people yet. It just doesn't feel right.

Animals...of course!

That's me...I was maybe 3 years old, talking to a kangaroo! It seems I've always bonded with animals more than humans. :)
Anyway...Melbourne Cup today. I was at work. It was rather amusing the way everyone stopped in the mall to watch, but other than that, I'm not too interested in seeing which animal can get from point a to point b the fastest. My animals would get distracted by a shiny object after 5 steps, so it's probably a good thing I'm not competitive!
Tonight I watched RSPCA Animal Rescue. It's one of only a few shows I watch. It kind of makes me mad though (ask my Mum, she doesn't want to watch in the same room as me anymore because I yell at the Tv too much!) I don't understand how or why people can mistreat animals. :( The other thing that bugs me, though, is the way the RSPCA itself acts. Who are they to decide that an animal is better off dead than with a less than perfect owner? Of course it's bad when an owner isn't able to provide proper medical treatment for an animal, or struggles to keep up with cleaning and feeding- but isn't an animal better off alive with someone who cares about it, than not alive at all? I'm pretty much against euthanasia. If an animal is old, in pain, and has no chance of recovering, maybe there's a reason- but just because it can't find a home...when it already had a home, but they took it from that home because it was "cruel" to keep an animal in those conditions? Well I think euthanizing the animal is more cruel. Humans love to play God, huh? But even without that... there are kids dying in Africa due to lack of medical care and food- nobody wants to euthanize them! Why are animals so different? What if God created all creatures equal? Sure, humans are a more intellegent species, but why do humans assume that this means we are "better"? Or that it makes it ok to eat animals, or kill them in the name of "kindness"? Why do people think of them as less than we are? To me it just shows a disrespect for life. I know my views on this are probably unpopular, but any other way doesn't make sense to me.
*Sending love to all* from me (Jacqui) and Missy. oxoxo

I can't believe it's....November!

Happy Halloween for yesterday! We actually didn't have any trick or treaters last night! (Well, except me, Mum let me have some of the candy!) So it was pretty uneventful. I was too tired from cleaning (finally finished, for now), to dress up or decorate. I had some pumpkin soup from a can for dinner- did not like it. But in other news, I do like tomato soup.
Everything else is just driving, waiting on applications, thinking about moving, Christmas approaching...it's busy, but that's ok!