29 July 2010

Shrek 4!!


I was about to do my homework and chores today when Mum decided we should go and see Shrek 4. It was cute. :D Naturally, I preferred the first and second movies but this was still good. I like the message of Shrek, and the humor that so many other fairy tales don't have. I want a pet baby ogre lol... actually, we're talking about getting a dog. And we went shopping after the movies. Then came home to all we have to do, but it was a pretty good day I guess. I don't know how long it'll take for us to feel somewhat normal again, or able to focus on what we're doing at any given time. And I know we're never going to stop missing Opi, or ever forget about him.

28 July 2010

Day 1 of Cert 4 Work Experience.

The day began with me having to get a 50kg bull-mastiff out of her cage. Scary much? She was actually really sweet though. The Cattle Dog, however, was not. The Rottweiler was nice. The Maltese was sweet. The Boxer had explosive diarrhoea in my lap. The Persian cat was beautiful. Another cat threw up worms, which I had to clear out of her mouth with my finger. Then she died anyway. Feel so awful for her owner, but nothing more could've been done. :( Processed some X Rays, did a lot of cleaning, and processed a pre- GA blood test.

24 July 2010

Opi: My memories...


My Opi passed away on Wednesday. He slipped into a coma around midnight on Tuesday, and despite our best efforts to keep him home until the end, we unforunately ran out of options and he had to spend the last 18 hours of his life in hospital. Mum, Ellie and I stayed overnight with him, and we were able to be with him when he went.
But instead of recounting the horrible things that happened in his last few days, I want to use this page to reflect on some good memories- the way I want to remember him.

For as long as I can remember, Omi (my Grandmother) and Opi were always there. When I had tea parties with my teddy bears, when my little brother Matt was born, every pre-school excursion, the trips we went on, and of course all the Birthdays, Easters and Christmases. My biggest memory of Opi on these occasions is that he was always holding a video camera. He taped the Christmas shows I performed with my dolls, me and Matt playing at the beach down the South Coast every year, and a lot of the other things we did.

We always went to Omi and Opi's house on Friday afternoons after school. We'd have afternoon tea, and then swim in the pool if it was warm enough, or play inside if it was cold or raining. One of my most vivid memories is of the park across the street from their house. I remember every Autumn how the leaves on those big trees would turn bright shades of red and yellow before falling, when we would make huge piles of them to jump in. I remember how frighteningly tall the slippery slide seemed when I was 5. I remember the excitement of our trips down into the cellar Opi built, where Omi kept canned food and chips.
I never had to worry if one of my toys broke- Opi could fix anything. Head fell off? No problem. He was a tiler and builder- he added rooms onto our house, redid our bathrooms and also liked gardening. I also remember he had a bright orange car- we never lost that in a car park!!!

He was always a very quiet and serious man, who lived for is family. I remember his and Omi's 40th Wedding Anniversary when he bought her 40 long stemmed red roses. He was lost when she passed away 11 years ago. :( I remember only one time in his life when I saw him really laugh hysterically- that was when Matt decided it would be a good idea to pick a chilli pepper from one of the plants Opa planted- and ate it whole. As Matt ran like mad around the house trying to find anything to ease the pain, Opi just sat there, almost in tears laughing.

As most people familiar with my family would know, Opi went through a lot in the past 3 years, physically and emotionally. He beat the odds so many times the Doctors no longer knew what to predict. He was a fighter right up until the very end. He came to live with us when he was discharged from hospital. I was slightly concerned that the noise of us 4 humans and 7 pets would drive him nuts- but it wasn't an issue. He just took his hearing aid out. :) He especially loved my Cockatiel, Missy, and she loved him too. I'm quite sure she misses him. Last week, he was patting Ruby and telling me how when he was a boy in Germany, he had 15 rabbits. He also said he was "half a vegetarian." Growing up on a farm, he refused to eat meat from any of the animals he had ever kept as pets. I remember many of the funny things he said over the years- things that came out wrong, and things that were just a little too honest. Conversations about everything from men's anatomy to his brutal truthfulness about my cooking. If it tasted bad, he unfortunately told me so. His favourite criticisms being "not brown enough" and "too much cream." Despite that, I loved having him live with us and already miss him so much every time I walk past his empty room.

He was worried we'd forget him, but how could we ever?

17 July 2010

Steel Magnolias...


I must have been one of the few females in the world who hadn't seen this movie. I watched it tonight with my Aunt, who is staying with us for a few days.
I liked the movie...and found it all too relevant to what's going on in our lives. The message of women being stronger than men, how they're so often the ones who stay when their loved ones are dying, when men can't take it anymore.. Mum, Ellie and I spent much of this afternoon with Opi, while Matt, Dad and my Uncle watched sports. I guess they don't know what to say. Neither do I. But Opi hasn't been responding much anyway. He's sleeping a lot, hasn't been out of bed for 48 hours now and is eating less. His best friends visited this afternoon to say goodbye. The Doctors still can't tell us how long he has. It's not like what we see on TV, apparently. It's a longer process and often much less peaceful. I feel so anxious because tomorrow is the last day of Winter break before I'm back to classes, and I hate that I'll be away from him. I have no choice though, I can't miss the course content or I'll get so far behind. If he's still going downhill tomorrow I might take the week off work and just do what's essential. This past one is a blur, I can barely remember half of what I've done. I've had the chance to see some friends a few times though, which is good. I barely have time during term and feel bad about that.
Well, better go. I should be asleep and still have so much to squeeze into the next 24 hours.

11 July 2010

Cupcakes!


They're from a packet mix, I admit, but they donated part of their proceeds to charity so how could I not?
Oh and Happy 30th Birthday to Jess Simpson!! I remember when she was 19...sigh. I know, it sounds lame when I say that. Whatever. The past 24 hours have been tough, we're all so stressed around here. Opi's been awake more but extremely confused. :(

10 July 2010

Boys....

So, Celine's having twin boys! Can't say I wasn't hoping for girls, but as long as she and they are happy and healthy!! :)
Oh and the dog found his owner!
Other than that holidays are not feeling like holidays.. so much to do, so tired, and Opi's been sleeping a lot more. We've started eating meals in his room sometimes when he can't get out of bed.

08 July 2010

Reflecting...

Why are 'the right thing' and 'the right thing' so often two different things? Why have humans complicated the world so?
And why, when we so obviously need to be doing more, do people not even care? Because complacency hurts less?
But what does that achieve? What is the point of the 'easy way' if there's no such thing as certainty and security? When everything can all be pulled out from under you at any moment, anyway?
The people who make a difference in the world are not the ones who sit on the couch and decide it's someone else's problem' or 'not for me to judge.' I'll bet it was the ones that got pissed off enough to do something. ;)

Inspiring lyrics...

"Every heart has a mission." "We've gotta do better than this cause we've only got one life that we've been given, a little love, a little kindness, a little light in this time of darkness, it'll be what makes us different, it'll be what makes us human." "We are scarred with indifference."

"I realize what life is all about, it's hanging on when you're heart has had enough, it's giving more when you feel like giving up."

I'm trying to have FAITH right now. I know God is doing things in my life, answering prayers. I don't feel it's time to tell that story yet because it's not complete. But I can tell you I am continuing with my Veterinary Nursing studies next term. :)

05 July 2010

Found Doggy..



I was trying to have a "couch day" today, when one of my neighbour's daughters knocked on the door asking if the lost injured dog she found belonged to us. It's obviously not mine, but I couldn't just leave the poor thing to wander, especially not with a main road nearby! So, made a couple of phone calls, drove him to a vet for a microchip scan, as he had no collar. Well, no microchip either. Ahhh!!! Pet owners, do you know how hard this makes things for the person who finds your dog? Not to mention that it's illegal to not microchip. :( I wanted to avoid the pound and to make sure he got any medical attention he might need, so I then took him to another vet, who takes strays. He'll get checked out, stay there a few days, then go to the pound. If nobody claims him in a few weeks, he'll be put up for adoption. Since the Vets and shelters are not in our suburb, I'll try to advertise around the neighbourhood. But really, his chances are not good, with no ID. Hopefully his family will find him though and get him microchipped (and desexed!) Or else, he'll find a new family. I intend to stay updated if I can. Above is a pic of him.
I also made this caramel pecan covered popcorn. The recipe was from Urban Animal Magazine- I also made a bird variety, covered in seed.

04 July 2010

Bruschetta...



The only problem with this one is that my family ate them faster than I could make them!!

02 July 2010

Opi update.


This, by the way, is today's cooking item: Bean and rocket salad, with balsamic dressing, wholegrain mustard, cherry tomatoes, Parmesan cheese and pine nuts.

Anyway. Opi's had a rough week. We always knew things would get worse, but it's so hard to predict exactly how, and when the bad days will start to outnumber the good. He still has some happy and lucid moments, but it's been a different problem each day this week. Note that some of this is kind of medical and graphic, so you may not want to read on. He's had nausea and vomiting, a blocked catheter and severe pain, and probably the worst- abdominal bleeding. Most likely all signs of the cancer progressing. Not that he remembers. He's been told three times now of his terminal diagnosis, and each time he gets so devastatingly upset, only to forget again a few days later. We want to keep him home as long as possible, but it's so hard to predict what will happen next, and if at some point it may be impossible for us to handle home care. It's so much harder than I ever thought it would be. Emotionally, there was no question that we wanted to keep him home until the end. But logically, I never imagined having to help my Grandfather use to bathroom or try to stop him from bleeding absolutely everywhere. Of course I'll do whatever I have to for him, and the side of me that's studying medical stuff wants to understand what's going on anyway, but God...give me strength and patience.
The Doctor said it's getting to the point that whatever happens next, whether it be an infection or whatever, we wouldn't treat it. It'd be kinder to let him go that way than suffer through more months of agonizing pain. He cried most of today anyway, I'm so exhausted from being sad for him, not to mention how Mum must feel.