Opi update.

This, by the way, is today's cooking item: Bean and rocket salad, with balsamic dressing, wholegrain mustard, cherry tomatoes, Parmesan cheese and pine nuts.

Anyway. Opi's had a rough week. We always knew things would get worse, but it's so hard to predict exactly how, and when the bad days will start to outnumber the good. He still has some happy and lucid moments, but it's been a different problem each day this week. Note that some of this is kind of medical and graphic, so you may not want to read on. He's had nausea and vomiting, a blocked catheter and severe pain, and probably the worst- abdominal bleeding. Most likely all signs of the cancer progressing. Not that he remembers. He's been told three times now of his terminal diagnosis, and each time he gets so devastatingly upset, only to forget again a few days later. We want to keep him home as long as possible, but it's so hard to predict what will happen next, and if at some point it may be impossible for us to handle home care. It's so much harder than I ever thought it would be. Emotionally, there was no question that we wanted to keep him home until the end. But logically, I never imagined having to help my Grandfather use to bathroom or try to stop him from bleeding absolutely everywhere. Of course I'll do whatever I have to for him, and the side of me that's studying medical stuff wants to understand what's going on anyway, but God...give me strength and patience.
The Doctor said it's getting to the point that whatever happens next, whether it be an infection or whatever, we wouldn't treat it. It'd be kinder to let him go that way than suffer through more months of agonizing pain. He cried most of today anyway, I'm so exhausted from being sad for him, not to mention how Mum must feel.