My computer is a stupid b*tch.

It decided it did not want to recognise anything I stuck in the USB hole- which means I couldn't use wireless internet or anything.
So I took it to the computer fixing place and it decided to work again, but it was being unbearably slow, so the guy upgraded the hard drive and RAM and stuff and it's much faster now. Even though it took 10 days.
It did other weird crap though and had to be totally reformatted. He called it a "unicorn", whatever that means. As a result I have to reload all my programs and I have no sound so I have to take it back tomorrow and have that fixed.
And why is it that I've had 5 different anti-virus products, all of which have messed up my computer- and yet I've had no virus problems.
Why do computers have to be so hard to use? The average human can't understand this crap! And error reports; NO I don't want to send one. I'm sure you're not gonna fix it anyway. So don't ask me 1000 times!