February...

January went so fast, huh? Anyway, here are my current thoughts to start off February, and the song I'm listening to now (I'm seeing Delta again in 2 days, btw.)
The past few days have been crazy. I've been in situations where I've really had to stand up for what I believe in, arguing with people. This is kind of a continuation of my last entry. It may seem insignificant, but I really felt like I was being tested at times. Conversation arised where I kind of had to confront the reasons certain things upset me so much. And while that's painful, I think maybe that's God's way of healing us. Getting us to talk about our pain, pull it out of us and use it for good. To be honest, many times I've been bawling in frustration, but I think that with anything like this, if you can stand strong in what you know is right, it makes you stronger in the end. The other thing that's been going on is problems with my parents. I'm sure many can relate. Whenever they don't like what you do, you get told to "grow up." And even when you're being mature and sensible, they still treat you like a child. Just can't win. Not to mention the internet went crazy over the past few days, (If we use too many downloads, the company slows down our connection, and apparently we have the biggest plan so we can't upgrade) and I spent Saturday night babysitting a 74 year old and a bird that screams every time I step out of the room. It's one of those weeks that has just felt very crappy and it kind of makes me sad. But I guess there has to be a reason for all this. I haven't been going to Church lately, I'm not sure what my views are on that at the moment. There seems to be a few very distinct versions of Christianity around. The one where God is a strict law enforcer and we had better obey him, or the one where we are loved no matter what we do. I think I'm somewhere between the two and quite confused right now. It often feels like the Church is all about humans, when it should be about God. It's all about people's interpretations of things. I don't know.
The song has changed now...I love this line, it's so true, how we're born to be before the world destroys us. Can we try to not let it? "The ways she shimmers, the way she shines, the way she radiates, the way she lives, the way she loves, the way she never hates..."